One night yea?
That’s kinda all it takes
To find the correct kind of spark
The right kind of affection
But it also takes a moment
For me to wonder
If this can really work
I am terribly panicked
Maybe you’ll change your mind about me
Perhaps you’ll think I’m not amazing
Or I’m not worth your time
It wouldn’t be the first time
That I thought things were going well
But then things go awry
I sometimes wonder about my inefficiency
To believe in the possibility
That somebody could appreciate me
Just as I am
Flaws and follies
Wounded but whole
Could you really want me
In the way the body needs water?
Could you want my presence
The way flowers burst in the spring?
Could you desire me
The way a man desires a woman he didn’t know he needed?
Am I to believe you see me holistically?
Imperfect perfection
Figuring out a could be situation
Sifting between the reality and fantasy
You enjoyed being in me
Kissing me
Touching me
Being near me
Yesterday
But what about today?
What about tomorrow?
What about when things aren’t smooth
And my anxiety gets the best of me?
Or the times when I’m lost and confused
Could I count on you then?
Are you really gonna journey with me?
Or will you change your mind
The way tides change?
Will you ghost on me
The way people ghost when they are in over their heads
I know me
I know I’m worthy
I’m wonderful
Kind
Brave
But it’s never ever meant anything
When I got played
Or disrespected
Or put on pause
So I take steps back
And I watch your actions
I observe how you move
I allow time to tell
But I don’t hold my breath
Because I see how cruel the world can be
Perhaps things can be different
Maybe…
