I read these words and I hit me like a ton of bricks all at one time. Could it be that The Universe/My guides/My ancestors are keeping me out of harms way when I don’t hear back from someone I really like? Maybe that job that I thought I had in the bag was given to someone else because it wasn’t in my best interest? Could it be divine intervention? I’d like to think so and I find comfort in the thought that I’m loved enough to be protected from things that could ruin my life.
I love love no matter what. I think that love is the one thing that can save anything, any situation and any person. I think the way I’ve arrived at loving love hasn’t been the most convenient, kind, forgiving, nor enjoyable path but I honestly believe that it needed to be that way in order to make me who I am today. I know for sure that my heavenly protectors get sick of me. I know that because I’m always shown signs in the beginning, the red flags are not only waved high but they often slap me in my face and yet still I forge ahead. Time and again things come up and I still force past them because I just need to know what it feels like, what the possibilities are and what I can learn. I’m sure that learning a lesson is pretty much what the universe wants for me, but I guess they must wonder how many times before I finally master the course? Ha.
How do my exes see me? Am I a lesson and a blessing or just a lesson? I kinda want to take a poll because I can have ideas about how I think something went but so does the other person. Empathy puts me in another’s shoes and dealing with me is no walk in the park. I feel like I can be manipulative, pushy, overly emotional, erratic and attention seeking when I’m not being my best self. The way I want to communicate isn’t the only way of communication but at times I act like it is. At times the way things should go in my brain vs the way it actually goes sends me into breakdown mode because I was unable to prepare for the feelings I’m feeling. Those things have to be strenuous and absolutely annoying when partnered with someone. I wonder if their gods/ancestors/universe warn them about me too? Thinking about it now actually really humbles me and I do feel a little embarrassed about the way I’ve behaved in the past. However I was finding my way and like everyone I deserve redemption for who I was and for my actions. My perspective on that is one that is filled with reflection and the need to atone for my sins. I am actually really sorry about some of the things I’ve done. Yikes.
The beauty of life is that we do have very clear choices. We can choose to live life full of love or choose life filled with fear. Life as we know it is comprised of love which is filled with balance and we must find the lessons and the joy in that balance. We can choose a life of fear which is filled with imbalance, and we must learn from those lessons instead of letting them dictate and define us. When I am living fearfully I am small, closed off, non communicative and distant. When I am living my love I am open to possibilities of possibilities. The perspective I choose is a narrative of triumph despite setbacks and breakdowns. Who I was isn’t who I am now and who I am now isn’t who I will be in the future. This moment that I have right now is a gift from the universe to be used to express love. Love at its most pure is everything and nothing. Life exists in between those lines and I embrace that fully. I am love. Love is the answer.