My yesterday ran right into my today because I literally have not slept. I woke up like normal, set an intention to have a day filled with happiness, abundance and joy no matter what. I’d made a move that closed a chapter for me and I was feeling good about it. I went about my day and it was a successful and happy one. As I’m minding my business, feeling good vibes, enjoying the rejuvenated pep in my step, a familiar name comes up on my phone screen. I pause. I breathe. I stay paused but then I have to unpause in real life because I have someone in front of me who wants my attention and I really needed to be present and focused. While I was frazzled for a moment, I also knew to ground myself, stop being excited and just bring myself together. I waited until all of my responsibilities were cleared up and I pulled out my phone to slowly read what was being texted to me.
Stallion, who had been evasive, elusive, distant and a stranger to me was texting my phone with something that read like an apology but didn’t land as apologetic. However, it did strike me as sincere, open, honest and full of emotions that are in alignment with who I know him to be. I was torn between excitement and wanting to flip the fuck out. I chose to be even and find the balance in between those two emotions. I held my ground but on the inside I was bubbly and thrilled to be hearing from him again…FINALLY. We decided to seize the moment and use our pending reconnection as an opportunity to connect a business opportunity. Our mutual friend The Money Man presented something to me that could be phenomenal for my life. That entire thing was orchestrated by Stallion. We hadn’t spoken nor really connected but we were connected because he had my best interest when it came to a new venture.
His apology was sincere and I needed it. He manned up, owned up, honored up and showed me who I know he is. I was really into what was being said because it was exactly what I wanted. A heartfelt connection and just an honest showing of regret and an owning of movements that were unacceptable, cowardly and while not an excuse, what needed to happen. I will say that being in the presence of someone who was willing to man up and own their shit and talk about it in a way that was transparent, uncomfortable but yet relatable. Y’all know me and y’all know that this man is not a jerk even though he’s done some jerky things. I told him that I will proceed with caution because while his words mean so much and I appreciate the ownership of the fall out BUT we are not out of the woods. We will have to see how the rest unfolds.
Mama Bff is absolutely not with the shit. She is side eyeing him and his words only the way an overprotective bff can be. I feel her and I need her to be that. I am feeling similarly but I have a lot more warmth and room for forgiveness and rebuilding that she could for him. Ultimately though it is about staying present to what’s in front of me at this moment. I don’t really know what later today, tomorrow or any other day will bring. All I can say is that yesterday, that moment, those stolen and unplanned moments were wonderful. Inside of that space was grace, forgiveness, honesty, transparency, discomfort, connection and magic. Being in that moment was a beautiful thing and there was connection in that moment that mattered to me. I won’t allow it to dictate what moving forward looks like. I will just stay in this moment and embrace the joy of today and all days to come regardless of who decides to stay or go.