Joy and Patience

That’s the intention. Joyfully accepting patience into my life because that is exactly what I am pulling to me. Coaching Mama put me on today and gave me homework to really map out what patience and joy look like for me. Let’s explore.

Joy is waking up and saying thank you for the opportunity for another day. Literally thanking the universe for giving me life, light and bodily function. Joy is being able to talk to my daughter, touch her, be with her and have conversations with her that are meaningful and impactful for both of us. Joy is going to a place of employment that is fun, nurturing and filled with opportunities to create more joy. Joy is writing this blog every single day and being really happy that my brain works, my fingers work and I have ideas that flow freely. Joy is finding the silver lining and the lessons in every interaction. It’s being thankful and focused on each moment as a chance to learn and to grow. Joy!

Patience. Lord have mercy on my impatient soul. Patience looks like going with the flow of the day without trying to orchestrate how it goes. Patience is knowing that if something is for me it will be for me and there’s nothing I need to do. Patience is standing in “not right now” and understanding that is where I need to be. Patience is listening to what is being said and allowing the words to land in my spirit without any movement. Patience is catching my breath to calibrate and then say what needs to be said or do what needs to be done in the appropriate time. Patience is hearing what is being said and not what I want to hear. Patience is being present in the here and now and not projecting or trying to predict what the future holds. Patience is being okay with standing still and allowing life to flow.

I need to be cool about situations that I have no control over. The pondering, worrying, stressing is the opposite of what joy and patience could ever look like. Patience and joy would mean finding affirmative ways to manage my thoughts about the situations I am finding myself in. It would be me processing thoughts and emotions in a way that leaves me feeling powerful and not spiraling in a ball of crying emotions. WAHHHH. Joy and patience actively feels very good. Patience and joy is a radical act for me because it is the relinquishment of control. Patience and joy means paying attention to my thoughts and allowing myself to shift words around to the affirmative. Joy and Patience is also about accepting situations for what they are. It is about actively being present and realizing the situation for what it is and not what I want it to be. At this moment I am in the absence of joy and patience because I can actively see where I fucked myself over by not being patient and therefore not having the joy I need. I had an opportunity to be powerful, say something powerful and I blew it. Now I am dealing with the emotional fall out from it and it sucks. However I know that I am on my walk in the desert and I have to see what is possible for myself as I turn a breakdown into a breakthrough and a lesson in joy and patience.

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