Someone shared a video with me displaying a woman going down on a man in public at an event in Miami. She’s seen squatting and another woman alongside her was doing the same thing but then the first woman’s husband/boyfriend steps behind her and yanks her up. A very public disagreement ensues and I’m guessing nobody had a good time after that. The only word in my head when I first watched it was “Yikkkkkkkes!” How embarrassing for all involved, right? I don’t know exactly what folks think about when they do wild shit like that in public BUT a part of me thinks that’s MDMA and other feel good drugs and liquor could potentially be at the root cause of these outlandish acts. Either way to each is own but there has to be some level of agreement reached when you’re in a relationship and the code of conduct that’s expected because otherwise the crash and burn is coming.

Often we give women flak for wilding out in public and we want to label her all types of adjectives that somehow equate to her not being worthy. Meanwhile men are caught shamefully cheating on their partners and the repercussions don’t seem to measure up at all. I am not an advocate for any kind of infidelity, whether public or private but the way the situation is handled in the aftermath is often disturbing. Far too often I hear stories of women getting acid thrown in their faces, set on fire, strangled, raped and humiliated for embarrassing their partners. Women do get violent as well but not nearly as much as men and the stats show that violence increases in households where there’s been domestic violence before. This unfortunately is an epidemic that’s wrecking the world and there’s not enough being done by lawmakers to protect women from dying at the hands of their partners. Cheating is wack but it doesn’t warrant someone being murdered.

This goes without saying but I’m going to say it; have conversations with your partner about the kinky and freaky shit you like. Everyone has vices, some a little bit crazier than others but if you can’t be upfront with your partner about it then you’re in the wrong relationship. There’s no way to really have desires that are strong for you and your partner isn’t privy. There has to be an honest flow of thoughts even when they seem outlandish, weird and maybe far too kinky. But isn’t that what partnership is? The act of being really honest and figuring out with your partner what things work and what are dealbreakers. I’m not a relationship expert but I am an expert on myself and what I tell people generally is to give me the option to choose what I think is weird and unacceptable. I could surprise you. Everyone has their things that get them going and make them super hot. There’s something very special about a relationship that can grow and create when you can get past the “yikes!!!” I think if you’re gonna wild out and be crazy your partner is someone you should be able to do that with. If not, you’re in the wrong relationship.

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