Heart Fluttering Business

What I’ve been learning in actually speaking to people, is the way that they think of themselves, is the way that they talk about themselves and in reality their view is often way off. I don’t mean it like they don’t know themselves but the way I view these men and women is far better than they view themselves. I hear a lot of negative self talk about weight, appearance, attractiveness, intellect and self worth. Many of these people are coming out of toxic and loveless marriages OR they are still in a marriage that does zero for their self confidence or they are single and think they will be single forever. The people I listen to and observe in my eyes are some of the most beautiful, kind, perfect weight, perfect height, perfect level of attractiveness, perfect in every single imperfection and I make sure I share that. Often times I’m met with people who absolutely do not believe me, they say I’m sweet or nice or very kind and they dismiss my view because they would rather sit with their lies about themselves than face the fact that someone sees their light.

I was joking with someone when I said I was in the heart fluttering business and they were like duh…no shit. I was like what the heck does that even mean? He looked at me really earnestly and almost teary eyed and said “The things you’ve told me about myself, are things no one has told me in more than two decades. You made me feel so good about myself.” That made me sad and happy at the same time. But mostly sad because there’s no way anyone should be sleeping in the same bed with someone and words of earnest kindness and warmth isn’t being shared everyday. When did we stop putting effort into making ourselves feel worth it, and then sharing that joy with the ones we vowed to love for a lifetime? It is throughly unacceptable that we have become part of a world where people don’t know that they are still seen as attractive, smart, generous and all the things that people are at their core, but kinda just forgot. What good is marriage if you cannot and will not be your best self? That’s not at all appealing. Pass.

I often very boldly ask when things went south and why? Often times these men snd women say it was a gradual profession of talking less, vibing less, less sex, less communication and just less love and light all around. The saddest part about this whole thing is that none of it had to be this way. Some communication is what we need, and if that is gone then what are these marriages about exactly? If y’all are telling me that marriage is supposed to be a joyful experience, yet so many people come out with such a lack of joy then y’all can kindly keep your marriages. I’m all set. I’m in the healing people, and heart fluttering business. I’m in the business of reminding people of who they were before they become what was expected of them. I am in the business of supporting people with living their best lives and then seeing what else is possible beyond their marriage and beyond their shitty experiences of themselves. I spent the day with Dr. Gray and it was one of the best dates ever. I’ve been having fun dates lately but it was filled with walking, talking and learning a lot about a lot. He’s a stud in every sense of the word and he has also been interacting with his ex who is just not a nice person. He was taken aback by my view of him, and so much so that he was like ummmm, am I being punked? Dude…no.

Dr. Gray was straight up and said that my words and touch made his heart flutter easily. He said he didn’t know all this was possible after all the time that had passed. Love is possible at anytime and it’s for everyone. Jesus the day before was also in a state of awe after our interaction and it’s sad. People shouldn’t have to wait for years past their marriage to feel like a person worthy of love. That fucking sucks. The world is hurting. We have to do better than what we are doing now, so that we can share our light and love that’s meant to be given freely. Seriously. Imagine what would be possible if the whole world could feel heart flutters? Do your part today.

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