The more I talk to people honestly about my feelings, is the more clarity I get for myself. I’ve come to understand that it’s never a person I’m reacting to, but rather my feelings and thoughts about the way our interaction is going. I’ve discovered that it’s not this deeply romantic and all encompassing situation that I’m seeking, rather it’s consistent and clear communication about whatever is happening with us. I don’t mean constant BUT consistency….like it is occurring in a way that there’s respect, clarity, integrity and and honoring of each other’s feelings. That’s what I wanted all along from situations that went sideways. Sometimes…well all the time it is important to check yourself to make sure that you’re not tripping. A lot of the time, I could be tripping but it’s because there is an undelivered communication and I act out of that reality vs. coming from a place of peace.
I believe very much in honoring and valuing the people who are in my life. To me, I can show that by checking in with them in a way that’s genuine and consistent. I also find it important to talk to people who I have intimate relationships with about what I’m feeling and make requests that can leave us both empowered. I think it’s completely dishonorable to share special moments with someone and then not speak to them or be in communication at all. There’s no part of my brain that can rationalize that and it should not be rationalized because that’s not a way for anyone to treat somebody else.
Alas, people do what they do and they are products of their situations. It’s up to individuals to choose whether or not they are going to continue to function in a way that doesn’t honor themselves. We teach people how to treat us and we can be patient and forgiving when they blunder but past a certain point, it’s important to know when to wrap a situation up forever. I believe that forgiveness is an important skill to practice, as is empathy. Regardless of how we feel about people and how slighted or hurt we may feel we have to get that no one is responding to us specifically. People are living their narratives and they are working within their own skills to make it through their lives and it has nothing to do with us. Compassion is a life lesson that will help us get further in life and it will help is soften our hearts and our stance. Actively looking to be the space of love and compassion can ease the most trying situations.
Life is a funny thing and daily we learn and grow. I learn when I actively step back and do my best to overstand my feelings. I can identify what’s happening with me and then I can take it from there. All I can be is me. All I can do is be my authentic and honest self and grow and develop what I need to work on for me. Everyone else can worry about themselves. All I can pray for and ask for is that we all come in peace, with respect, light and love to each other. It’s important to honor each other and put yourself in the other person’s shoes. That skill helps so many situations go smoother and makes it easier to tolerate. We are all finding our way and looking to make it through the next sunrise and sunset. I can do my best to be the space of love, light and compassion whenever possible. That’s what I want, so that’s what I’ll put out.