I mind my business, I do my affirmations, I walk my walk, and I express gratitude. I do what I do, and I hope I align with like minded people who will elevate me, support me and help me grow the way that makes me a good human being. I keep my options open, I encounter mostly good souls and I am pleased with my extraordinary life with rather ordinary routines but an extraordinary set of things in place to remind me that my life is a gift and it is all written. I am constantly shown signs that I am on the right path, I meet people who show me that my manifestations work and I encounter situations that affirm my place in the universe and perhaps a reminder of joy from a previous lifetime.
At times, when we are minding our business and living our extraordinary lives while doing ordinary things, we meet someone who is as extraordinary that catches us by surprise and stuns us. I am currently stunned and in gratitude because I met a soul like my Triple T who gets me on a level that is seemingly far too familiar. He, like Triple T, get me in a way that other people absolutely do not get me. They see ME, all aspects of ME and their spirits and souls match mine in ways that I did not know were even possible. The friendship there is uncomplicated, easy, divine and while filled with very real world ups and downs, for the most part my heart is at ease there. I feel true reciprocity because these two people love themselves, they are aware of themselves, they are unafraid to speak their truth, unafraid to be vulnerable, courageous, and truthful when it is difficult. It is not like their insecurity does not surface, and it is not like mine does not surface BUT we do not live there. We live in a place where we are intimate with our own mind fucks, and our own personal destruction and we learn ways to battle those demons head on BECAUSE after all, they are ours.
Let us call him The Alchemist, and lets just say that meeting him came at an ordinary time but attached to some extraordinary set of amazing circumstances. We are on a journey and the journey is blessed with omens and everyday examples of why we do not close ourselves off because of fear. My interactions with him teach me that for every single iota of pain, sadness, and heartbreak, there is an equal match of healing, happiness and boundless love on the other side. He is a beautiful man, with a beautiful journey and he is gentle while being firm, he is tender yet not to be messed, he is beautiful but armored with battle scars from life, and he is imperfect but strives for self love more and more every single day.
I have thought about him in my giddy, school girl fantasy ways, my totally scared and terrified place of ego and past experiences, and my space of calm, higher self, post yoga thoughts. All of these spaces are normal for me in my quest to self check. If anything life has taught me about anything and anyone, is to give it time and space AND take it all moment by moment. We all know good intentions pave the way the hell and sometimes something happens in life that forces us to do something we were not expecting and leaves a trail of disappointment. That reality is a possibility given in any set of circumstances. What is also a possibility, is that we meet someone who our soul recognizes and wants to walk with for quite a while. It is okay for me to give myself permission to enjoy my days. It is okay to enjoy someone with whom I can laugh with, enjoy complex yet simple conversations and allow my soul to be fed. I do not often meet people who challenge me and hold me to a standard that I hold myself and when I do it is uncomfortable as fuck but also refreshing. He is bold in his approach and I respect him so much for it.
I almost did not want to write this because it is so sacred to me. I won’t go into excessive details because I don’t feel inspired to do so BUT I will say affirmatively that joy is attainable. Joy is attainable post incredible misery. Joy is attainable as a part of a manifestation of my own desires. My desire for my joy will always outweigh my pain. I refuse to shrink myself because I have been hurt and left for dead. It is all a story and a narrative, written and edited by ME. The same way I am able to fight so hard to keep from drowning is the same way I can enjoy a person so incredible without asking, “Why me?” You know why me? Because I’m a good human being who deserves to be blessed, honored and have someone who walks into my life who gets me. Beyond getting me though, as another traveler and alien, he is wonderful to know and continuing to get to know. He never claims to be anything other than himself and yet he is constantly exposing himself, showing his hand and evolving right before me. I respect that.
I’m not interested in giddy ways of being. I’m not interested in fantasies or bullshit what could be. I’m diligently looking towards building my life with integrity and experiences that create a greater love for life. There will be blessings and there will be lessons and as y’all know, none of that is lost on me. What is different, striking and clear to me with The Alchemist is an extraordinary man in this very ordinary life. His extraordinary ways of being match mine and it deepens my overstanding of myself and subsequently this life. I won’t claim that this is the great love of my life, nor stand and say I am predicting any future. What I will say is that my life is sweeter because he’s entered it. My life, and my journey feels like I was preparing for this moment, meeting someone who is a reflection and someone unfamiliar. He is a beautiful someone who the universe conspired to bring into my life. It was not by coincidence or happenstance. This was a deliberate act of intention, manifestation, prayer and BLESSINGS. I deserve all this joy and so does he.
Maktub.
Raw Motherfunking Emotions 