I Need Quiet Sometimes

I am there for my people, through and through and I have a lot of patience for all kinds of issues. I will listen and offer feedback attentively and supportively. I will ride for my friends no matter what, but sometimes my brain, body and spirit starts shutting down. It has nothing to do with any one person but my capacity for anything overflows and I find a strong need to step back and go into myself for rest and rejuvenation. I need moments to regroup and during these times I require sleep, space, and solitude. I’m naturally introverted and too much interaction drains me physically and mentally. Quite a few of my friends are very outgoing, loquacious and they thrive off of interaction, I can be into that sometimes. When I’m in my quiet respite, I have zero tolerance for that level of engagement. I need a mental break from all the interaction because it’s not good for me.

One of my girlfriends was saying I should write about how people love their families but wish they would take a long, long vacation without them. She was reflecting on her life before marriage and children, and she missed the ease of it. She missed the desire to style her hair and wear cute clothes, and the ease of schedule. She longed for that, as she sat quietly, catching the last few moments of her quiet morning, before her family woke up. Like me, it’s never about your family being a burden or wanting a different life. It’s about needing a respite from your life sometimes. Needing to be quiet, gathering your thoughts; uninterrupted and preferably surrounded by a quiet, clean and healthy space conducive to having a peace of mind. I get her.

I was an only child for a long time. I learned how to be with myself early on and I really love my own company. As I’ve mentioned before, I can go extended periods of time being very interactive because I had pockets of time when I hung out with my cousins a lot. But there was always a joy to get back to being by myself, doing what I want, when I wanted it, and with no one in my way. That’s how I feel right now. I can’t explain it, but I need time to just be with myself. Some people are easier to interact with than others during this time period. If I have to exert energy to listen or engage, I can’t do it. Other people can appreciate being together in the same room without needing to talk. I can get behind that. The people who want to talk to me, or keep reminding me that we are close friends, and I should talk things out, drive me fucking insane, and it makes me feel like they aren’t actually listening to what my request really is. Just leave me alone for a little bit. Please.

How do I regroup? I sleep a lot. I write. I take nice long walks, I listen to classical or yoga music. I take my time to meal prep, I detox my body, I stretch, I catch up on all the things I haven’t been focused on doing, I cook, I lounge, I breathe properly and I just love on myself. It’s a time for me to celebrate myself, be gentle with myself and to tune everyone out. It’s healthy for me and I really love and appreciate my friends who don’t take this personally and just allow me to be. I encourage everyone to take the opportunity to regroup because self care is the best care. Have a great day.

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