When dudes get dissed after they outwardly and repeatedly sweat a woman and she turns him down they love to act like they feigned interest in the first place. She ceases to be the standard of beauty and perfection when she shuts him down and because that kind of bravado and show of force usually only masks major insecurities, he retaliates with vicious words, sometimes men harm women who reject them, when in reality we would simply like you to take your rejection and go quietly. I recently had an encounter with someone who was so arrogant that he thought he was amazing, but neglecting and ignoring the fact that it was possible for me to be completely disinterested in him and anything he was offering because I just wasn’t into him. My rejection of him enraged him so much that he wrote to me to tell me he was going to throw away my card, block me and delete my number. He sent me a couple more messages after that, none worthy of a response because what could I say? Cool? Thanks? Good luck? Don’t let the door hit you? Nah, because we win some, we lose some and we should always go out graciously. There’s no need to ever resort to long messages or vicious words for someone simply because they didn’t want you in the same way you wanted them. It’s a loss. Accept that fact.
I’ve had my own fair share of salty endings where I wanted a particular outcome, but the dude didn’t feel the same way. However, I do my best to leave everyone with peace, love and best wishes. The world of dating is hard and with so many different personalities, it is kinda hard to know who is going to mesh and who won’t. Nevertheless, it’s important to me that I leave everyone I go on a date with some positive vibes and well wishes. I don’t care if we never see each other again, but I know this person is a human being looking for something and at their most vulnerable, they just want to be acknowledged. Even if I am saying thanks, but no thanks, I want to be respectful and kind. However, some people find the rejection hard to swallow and honestly, those people really shouldn’t be dating. The more time you spend sorting yourself out, is the more time you can figure out what personalities are compatible and which ones are pure poison to your soul.
Mercury Retrograde was rough because there were many people who came back into my life, only for me to be reminded why I stopped fucking with them, to begin with. The above person was strange from the beginning and never actually gave me an opportunity to show him myself. He had an assumed identity for me, and a box where I should have stayed within his parameters but he was sorely mistaken when my responses were NOT in alignment with his desires. Similarly, someone else recently expected me to laugh at a joke that was extremely racially offensive and not only did I not laugh, but I called them out. The conversation got very heated, went completely off the rails and in the midst of it I stopped talking and just watched this person in amazement. He was used to me being one way, but the moment I raised a flag and said what I really meant, I was suddenly an aggressor and making a big deal out of something I shouldn’t find offensive. I personally think that his feelings were hurt, he was being called out for his blatant racism and he didn’t want to face himself so his anger was directed at me. Of course, there was a weak ass follow up text, and an even more shady, wack and sorry ass email which went straight to junk mail because that’s where it belonged, along with that whole connection. Some things simply run its course, and after a while, I’m just done with teaching someone who I never signed up to teach. Your feelings may be hurt but that’s not my fucking problem, the same way you’re not responsible for mine.
I encourage everyone to pay attention to the red flags early on in the relationship. Are they too infatuated too fast? I mean you may be the shit but a sane person can’t know that right from the beginning AND wanna act on that shit. Anyone who wants to show you off, and moves you into their house or goes away with you too early on, has something going on with them. Also if someone goes off on you after you’ve politely told them you’re not interested, consider yourself lucky because you dodged an enormous bullet. Sane humans beings, while hurt may offer words of regret or may even ask why but an unstable person will dredge up some crazy things to say to get a rise out of you, and the best response is no response. You can’t argue with someone who insecure and has a negative self-image because they will bring you down to the pits of their sadness and you deserve better than that. Take your rejections in stride, and take your hurt feelings and go. There’s someone for everyone but you’re just not that someone for me.