The Struggles of A Fatherless Girl

However, I’m very much hyper-award of my own feelings because my daughter is acutely experiencing a similar feeling with her father. He hardly calls, he doesn’t show up when he said he would, misses her birthday and holidays and is absent. She recently had a heart-wrenching series of questions about her father’s love for her, was her mad at her and what did she do to make him stay away? My heart broke for her because I empathize so acutely with what she’s dealing with, but I’m so proud that she is articulating her pain and while she said she thought I would be upset that she missed ​him, I reassured her that I could never be mad at her missing her father.

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The Purge

Like all things and all situations that hurt and damn near kill us, there has to come a point where things are ENOUGH. At some point I was over the bullshit and over the nastiness and I had to take a stand and make a choice for myself not to be a victim or the productive of someone else’s misery. My disposition in life is to be joyful and happy. My plan for myself is to be joyful and happy and that I don’t need permission for at all. I had to make a choice and it was either be sad or be free. The thing about freedom is that it doesn’t absolve or remove hard feelings but at least I knew that those moments would pass.

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Gratitude

It is important to me to say thank you often BECAUSE there’s so much value in honoring and acknowledging what someone has done for me. My first lesson on gratitude would have to be from my mother and there’s a lot to tell her thank you for and I don’t do that enough. My mother and I have a tense, not always so amicable relationship but there have been more moments of meeting in the middle lately.

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