I wanted so much for myself but I kept stopping and putting my healing on hold because I was in a holding pattern of hoping, wishing and fantasizing about things being different and yet they were not. It took us months to actually break up, and I finally had to buckle down and pull the plug for good because it felt like poison to my soul. Do I love this man? Oh I surely do but I loved my sanity, well being and healing far more than him.Read More The Danger of Codependency
They say religion is brainwashing and to an extent, I agree but I think religion has different effects on people and in this instance, I think he added more good than evil in the world right now. He did what he thought was best and how can I ever in life be mad at him for that? Is he too soft on his brother’s killer? I don’t think so. What would I have him do instead? Carry around his anger? Allow himself to be weighed down by the pain and harm others? To put his hurt into the world and perpetuate a cycle of grief? For what? To save face and to appease the masses? Please get the fuck out of here with that.Read More Forgiveness Is Freedom
There is power in connecting with your partner when you tell the truth about what is happening in your head and heart. However, don’t fuck up your relationship based on your feelings for someone else. If you are looking to leave, do it based on the fact that it is no longer workable and it serves no one to stay. If someone leaves their relationship for YOU I am not convinced that’s a worthy burden to carry. If you think someone else’s partner is your soul mate, then you’re all fucked up in the game homey, because that is NOT the answer. Do better.Read More Someone’s Partner Is Not Your Soulmate
We outgrow situations, places, and people and there are no hard feelings involved. Shit, we even outgrow our own bullshit when it stops serving us. There is no other way to look at this progression in life, we grow up and situations become unworkable and they have to end. Swap out situations for people. Why keep being friends with someone who is committed to a one-sided friendship? Why call ppl who don’t return calls? Why chase friendships? Nah. I am going to get myself to a place where I can say…oh yea…that’s cute and not keep being pissed at myself for being a sellout. I am going to stop sabotaging myself. Maybe you should too?Read More That’s Not Cute…
White people, please pay attention to your aggressive ass sons, and their behavior in school, at home and their online presence. The same way ya’ll expect black parents to monitor black boys is the same way I need ya’ll to keep an eye on your boys. I need people to pay attention and scrutinize young white men the same way they do with young black and brown men. The same energy white people have to call the police on suspicious behavior regarding men of color is the same energy I need them to have with white boys who look suspect. Come on now, save lives and pay attention to the boys ya’ll raise and who you do not think is a threat BUT CLEARLY IS given the profile of this homegrown terrorism.Read More The Right To Own A Gun
Also if someone goes off on you after you’ve politely told them you’re not interested, consider yourself lucky because you dodged an enormous bullet. Sane humans beings, while hurt may offer words of regret or may even ask why but an unstable person will dredge up some crazy things to say to get a rise out of you, and the best response is no response. You can’t argue with someone who insecure and has a negative self-image because they will bring you down to the pits of their sadness and you deserve better than that. Take your rejections in stride, and take your hurt feelings and go.Read More Take Your Hurt Feelings And Go!
Realistically though, the “straight” men that I’ve dated could be having bisexual encounters and I know nothing about it, and everything remains copacetic. However, a man choosing to openly disclose his sexual preferences, bracing for a rejection, and simply just wanting to be upfront and honest DESERVES an opportunity like everyone else to be accepted as they are. What exactly is the problem? How could I be enticed, and adore all aspects of this man, but reject his sexual preference? On what grounds am I rejecting him?Read More Sitting With The Funk Of My Biases