Are You Worthy Of Us? (Rules of Engagement for Anyone Who Wants to Date a Single Mom)

 Make a Powerful Choice: Think this all through. The life of a bachelor is much different than life as a family man, raising another man’s daughter. Your life will be forever altered in ways you probably can’t see and once you’re in you’ve got to be all in. You can be scared, and wonder how you can do it all, or even IF you want to do it all. Talk it through with your confidantes, talk to me, talk to yourself, and really strive to be as honest as possible about what you’re about to do. This is a hefty choice and one you shouldn’t make lightly.

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The Complexity Of Too Much Praise

The first time it occurred to me to doubt myself, was at work and this woman who looked like me told me I did not write very well. Oh my goodness. I was mad at her, and then I believed her and I really stayed away from writing for a little while. The fragility of my ego and my self-esteem buckled at the tiniest critique. I was in shambles over an opinion, because I was accustomed to being praised without honest critique from most people. However, once I was out of school I just believed that my people loved anything I’d written, and I believed I was at the top of my writing game. WRONNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!!!!!!!!!

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The Messenger Is As Important As The Message (In Memory of Nipsey Hussle)

Nipsey Hussle IS the American come up story. He IS the wildest dreams of his ancestors and his predecessors. He is what young black kids dream of being. He was an example of a black boy who had the odds stacked against him, and was swimming against the current, and still making it to shore. He was who Malcolm paved the way for and he would have been proud of him. I appreciate Nipsey because he was imperfect, he wasn’t born into having multiple options for success. He was a child of the street like Malcolm was and he knew that life wasn’t going to lead to his dreams being fulfilled. He was selling his mixtapes for $100, man that’s audacious and that’s him knowing his worth.

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Practice Apologizing To Your Children

Apologizing to your children will enforce their self-worth and allow them the space to talk through their feelings. Until children learn to have an inner narrative, we as their guardians are the voice they hear the most. We are the ones who encourage them to thrive or discourage them from finding their voice. We have to allow them to talk through what they are feeling, listen to them intently, and apologize when they make it clear we have caused them pain.

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Don’t Be A Slave to Validation

When your mind is free nothing can contain you. When the world is your stage, and everyone is a supporting actor in your narrative wouldn’t you write a story where you are victorious no matter what? Isn’t it critical for our lives to have stories where something or someone tried really hard to break us but we made it through?

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