The Struggles of A Fatherless Girl

However, I’m very much hyper-award of my own feelings because my daughter is acutely experiencing a similar feeling with her father. He hardly calls, he doesn’t show up when he said he would, misses her birthday and holidays and is absent. She recently had a heart-wrenching series of questions about her father’s love for her, was her mad at her and what did she do to make him stay away? My heart broke for her because I empathize so acutely with what she’s dealing with, but I’m so proud that she is articulating her pain and while she said she thought I would be upset that she missed ​him, I reassured her that I could never be mad at her missing her father.

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Date Grown Ass Men

The conversation was organic, authentic and extremely easy. There wasn’t a whole lot of surface conversation about bullshit, we got right into talking about our projects, our kiddos, our life journeys and just all the important things that drive good conversation forward. He is very easy on the eyes, he has a slighter build than what I normally prefer BUT he’s so damn confident, and easy to talk to, so it didn’t actually matter at all. A couple drinks in me, and I felt more calm and more at ease to act out what I was thinking.

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Good Luck?

Intention, planning, purpose, discipline, concentration, effort and deliberation is what goes into the things I do. I don’t do anything unless I put my all into it and it is important for me to be a part of something that is done with care, done with excellence and done with a finesse and a style that is evident in the final product. So when someone says good luck, I’m like uhhhhh, luck?????

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Bumbling Bees

That shit was legit but it was all kinds of dudes, all kinds of ages, all kinds of ethnicities and all kinds of looks. I didn’t want all kinds of anything. I had to adjust the age because I don’t want any 20 something year olds UNLESS we are just having sex and maybe just maybe have a fun day at the beach or some shit. I had to filter the other direction too because I don’t want to date anyone 55 years old and over because UMMMMM no, I don’t want no DAddy who is literally as old as my own parents. That’s not appealing to me at all. I also had to filter young ones and the older guys who didn’t have kids.

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Love Cannot Be Contained

In the very subjective analysis I can definitively say that I was not treated with love, kindness nor consideration. There was no part of the way he acted came from a place of love. He is selfish and he is a coward. Fine. That is not the way i want to live my life. Therefore there’s no energy that this man could get from me in real life. I need to write this out, talk it out, purge it out and then move on. I can think about the situation as a reminder and as a lesson not to give in too easily. This is a reminder and a lesson to reconcile my own feelings and go with my gut the first time.

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My Wildest Dreams

I’d like to be able to say that when I leave this earth, I left it better than I found it. I have always believed that it is my mission to remind people that their love is far greater than their fear. I am starting with myself and the conversations I’m having in my brain and out in real life. I was playing a game that was far too small for what I knew I was capable of in my life. But I needed that incubation period to connect to who I needed to connect to AND I needed to be reminded of what not honoring my life looked like.

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