The big picture is romantic. The everyday details are grueling. It’s the work of simultaneously building unshakable confidence and allowing myself to be vulnerable. It’s the day to day of interpersonal dynamics, making a choice to say “I need help.” , “You hurt my feelings.”, “I’m sorry and I want to talk this whole thing through.” Each time I skip over an opportunity to be vulnerable, I move further away from allowing people to learn my language. When I shy away from being honest about my hurt feelings because somewhere in my past someone taught me that my sharing didn’t actually matter. I allowed a rejection at some point to stop me from being open and I allow many opportunities to pass by because it’s simply easier than opening myself up.Read More Complicit In My Own Suffering
My thoughts are the source of my magic AND my downfall. I am simultaneously my best friend and my own worst enemy. I have to remember to make the agreements that serve my highest self, and don’t just do the easy thing, which requires no effort and as a result, no results. Bummer. At some point miracles and magic will happen BUT it happens when the work is done. If I’m doing work is it actually miracles and magic or is it just cause and effect?Read More You Are The Magic
The conversation was organic, authentic and extremely easy. There wasn’t a whole lot of surface conversation about bullshit, we got right into talking about our projects, our kiddos, our life journeys and just all the important things that drive good conversation forward. He is very easy on the eyes, he has a slighter build than what I normally prefer BUT he’s so damn confident, and easy to talk to, so it didn’t actually matter at all. A couple drinks in me, and I felt more calm and more at ease to act out what I was thinking.Read More Date Grown Ass Men
That shit was legit but it was all kinds of dudes, all kinds of ages, all kinds of ethnicities and all kinds of looks. I didn’t want all kinds of anything. I had to adjust the age because I don’t want any 20 something year olds UNLESS we are just having sex and maybe just maybe have a fun day at the beach or some shit. I had to filter the other direction too because I don’t want to date anyone 55 years old and over because UMMMMM no, I don’t want no DAddy who is literally as old as my own parents. That’s not appealing to me at all. I also had to filter young ones and the older guys who didn’t have kids.Read More Bumbling Bees
I’d like to be able to say that when I leave this earth, I left it better than I found it. I have always believed that it is my mission to remind people that their love is far greater than their fear. I am starting with myself and the conversations I’m having in my brain and out in real life. I was playing a game that was far too small for what I knew I was capable of in my life. But I needed that incubation period to connect to who I needed to connect to AND I needed to be reminded of what not honoring my life looked like.Read More My Wildest Dreams
I’m strong and I need support. I’m strong and I need to be hugged. I’m strong and I need forehead kisses. I’m strong and I need my hand held. I’m strong and I need gentle love making. I’m strong and I need soft kisses. I’m strong and I need to my head on your chest. I’m strong and I need your nurturing. I’m strong and I’m a human being with needs. My strength doesn’t absolve me of my mortal feelings.Read More And Who Will Save Me?
My intention is to be a clearing for honesty, integrity and partnership at every level. Tangibly it looks like telling all parts of the raw truth. That looks like speaking up when I’m scared, speaking up when I’m sad, speaking up when I feel like things aren’t right and honoring the beauty of communication so things can be resolved through clarity and asking for answers. Integrity is about holding myself to what I’d say I’d do. It’s about loving myself enough to set the precedent on how I allow myself to be treated.Read More All or Nothing