The Pain Will Not Kill Me

I think at times I have given myself way more credit about my goodness, than paying attention to the ways in which I should improve myself. It is easy to acknowledge an asshole when they are so blatantly awful BUT it is less easy to face the ways in which I allowed the behavior to continue. Or, even deeper, it is even harder to admit to self sabotage, selling out on hard work for instant pleasure, and doing shit I have no business doing. I will say that I needed to learn these lessons in prolonged self prescribed suffering, victim mentality and stress because I had to wear myself out. I had to allow the room to let myself marinate in grief and my own toxicity and BULLSHIT because that was my lesson I had to overcome.

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